Asocial

Recently I have been feeling pretty distanced from everything that is people. Community, socializing, conversation, all of it. Not that I want to feel this way.

I believe it comes from the fact that I only talk to a few people on a regular basis; those people are my roommates and myself. Yeah, huge list I know. I have such a busy schedule and because I am trying really hard stay on top of things I am becoming asocial.

It doesn't help that when I do talk to people I often say "the wrong thing" or something rude. Not that I am overly rude, at least I hope not, but living in a community you learn that people are stupid and you are the worst.

Life is full of lessons and it seems that this year is one for learning them all, in my case. I don't want to worry but I can't help but think that this year is going to be quite hectic, nerve racking, stretching and trying. Not only because I have a heavy workload, or that I have TA work but because I am a difficult person to get along with. I know people have said otherwise, but their faces say the opposite of what they mean.

I pray that this year goes swiftly, smoothly and that I do not upset my roommates too much. There are many things I should change about myself, but they don't seem to be coming quickly.

Dating

It has recently dawned on me... why would you truly want to date during college?

Unless you go to Olivet, or another Christian college, the point of college is usually to study (some would argue that it is to party, but they don't know that the future will nip them for that).

The joke on the Olivet campus is "ring by spring" or that women are here to receive their "Mrs." degrees. However women here, and in every college save for mens colleges, outnumber men almost more than 7-1. So really, the odds are in a man's favor. If he wants to get married, then college is a great place for him to meet someone. Granted most men are not ready for that. In fact most people in our society are not ready for that. I know I'm not.

So this brings me back to my question. Why would you want to date during college? Sure you may like him/her, but can you really picture yourself getting married to him? Better yet, do you want to worry about whether or not you will be together after the 4 years? Or what if you are? What are you going to do? Are you both going to move away or move together or what? Where will life take you?

I am not looking forward to figuring out where *I* will be going after college, let alone tossing another person in the mix. That just sounds disastrous to me.

So here is what I propose to you, my unfaithful readers, are you in a relationship?

Can you see it turning into marriage?

Do you really want to get to your senior year and have to figure out what each other is doing and how you will stay in contact?

Or do you both plan to break up after graduation (because that doesn't seem like a great or committed relationship at all...)?

What are you going to do?

What is your goal in life?

Where are you going to go?

and

Who do you want with you?

~Carollela~