More often than not it is in the defense.
This is the current definition of our society and their relationships with others. So many people get divorces now that people are apathetic to the fact. Many start marriages thinking they will defy the odds but in such a perverted society they only prove the statistics correct.
Perhaps part of the reason relationships no longer flourish as they used to is due to the fact that conversation no long happens. Conversation is an art, a skill, a habit, a practice. Many people, and I would go so far as to say almost everyone, in this era (not as those 20 and under, but those 50 and under) no longer have the ability to hold conversations.
With things like email, texting and Facebook instant messaging is brought to a whole new level. Who needs social, physical, personal, face to face interaction anymore? When we do have face to face interaction it always starts as and often times turns out to be hand to hand combat. Perhaps not hand to hand exactly, sometimes spirit to spirit, will to will, mind to mind fights. No longer to people sit and converse.
In the movie Enchanted, Giselle is an almost princess who is thrust from the cartoon fantasy Disney princess world into the here and now of 2007. There is a part in the movie where Giselle is in the office and hears that a woman and her husband are filing for divorce. She does not know what a divorce is and when she learns what one is she starts crying. While her crying may be exaggerated (even though she does cry softly and steps aside) I firmly believe that this is the way that Christians should act. We should be upset when we hear things like this.
Perhaps though we should also be upset for the reason why these things occur. Perhaps we should even be upset at the dying art of conversation. Sure it is something small, and perhaps to some insignificant, but it contributes to so much. Many say that chivalry is either dead or dying, but perhaps mourning the loss of conversation is just as important as chivalry.
I talk to my girlfriends all the time and we do have conversations. I am not saying that I have perfected the art of conversing, rather I would love to learn it. I want to practice this art, I want to hone my skill. I want to have a conversation, a deep, intellectual conversation with someone. Perhaps though, we should start by truthfully answer the question of "how are you?" We should also start by only asking the questions we want to hear the answers to.
When I ask my friends how they are I don't want answers like "Good." They infuriate me. Unless you of course are truly good, but if you are truly doing well, please tell me why. This holds a conversation. Talking to people is not one sided, and I am learning this. I talk so much, and perhaps it is to fill the silence, perhaps it is so there is no chance to hear something I don't want, or maybe it is because I feel awkward. Either way I am going to try and talk less, and think before I speak, while encouraging others to talk more, or at least talk more in a constructive conversation encouraging manner.
I no longer want my speech to be a battle. I no longer want the hand to hand, or speech to speech, combat of fighting for the attention in a conversation.
I want to learn the art of the conversation.
~Carollela~
